Top Quality Premium Dickpaint...The best you'll find!
Dickpainting is all the rage! Can't find a Dickpaint Supercenter near you? Don't live near Tulsa, the epicenter of Dickpaint?
Don't kill yourself! We offer THE finest dickpaint availible, at prices that you can pay to get them!
Too expensive you say? Well then maybe you're not really that serious about Dickpainting!
Maybe instead of painting them, you should try eating them!
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Top Quality Acrylic Urethane Dick/Automotive Paint! Don't dick around with your dickpainting? This is the dickpaint for you! Acrylic coat gives you super-super long lasting dick paint coats that are water resistant, sun resistant, weather resistant, and attempts to remove it resistant! Unless someone breaks out a sander, your gloriously painted dick will be safe from any and all dick paint defacing. One coat can last for years! If you have some left over, you can use it to paint your car! With your dick! So fantastic, it's never been tested on humans! Comes in white, blue, clear, and blood red. *May cause cancer of the dick, or a super dick shell.Not for humans. |
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OH NO! DICKPAINT EMERGENCY! You're on your way to a dickpaint party when you realize your dickpaint creation has been defaced! What humiliation awaits you! You reach into your bag for your gun to end it all least face the horrifying shame of a dickpaint failure, only to find... hope. RED ALERT Dickpaint is a spray-on dickpaint substitute. It's not the art of long, tender brush strokes as we know it, but it will get you through a dick paint gala with your pole painted proudly until you're able to whitewash it again in the privacy of your own home. Also, if you get mugged, holding a flame in front of RED ALERT EMERGENCY DICKPAINT spray will cause a ten foot long jet of flame to erupt from the front and incinerate anything in its path. Do not smoke while applying to your dick. Imported from Jamaca. May contain small amounts of nuts. |